How to Damn Yourself

Saying the wrong things takes seconds,

Doing the wrong things, slightly more

But to make up takes an age,

And you’ll regret it ever more.

Dont underrate Hairdressers

I wanted to give my hair a little bit of a trim, before going out that evening, so I went at it with my clippers. However, it didn’t seem to really cut my hair very much, as it should have. I tried attacking it from all sorts of angles, and managed to get bits here and there.

So, I thought, let’s wet my hair and see what happens then, maybe it’d work; it was one of those fancy waterproof clippers. No success, it just seemed to “chew” and pull my hair, not cut it. This became really frustrating, so I decided to try a much smaller length guard attachment. That’s one of those things that stop the clippers going from the roots. For a second or two it worked, but then, once again, it just started “chewing”. By now my hair looked quite a mess and had a sort of “canal” in it. Some areas were really long, about two inches, others closer to one, other had almost been completely removed. I tried again and again, but all my hair got was “chewed”.

So in a fit of anger of my own ineptitude, I threw the clippers at the floor. I don’t know if I actually expected it to, not just break, but explode into pieces and irreparable fragments… but that’s what it did.

It took a few seconds for it to sink in. My hair looked like it had been cut by a demented bullfighter who had been riding the buckaroo as he did it, and now I had no clippers. I was also consciously aware of my absence from the party that was going off in the kitchen, sooner or later someone comes knocking on the door, and I hadn’t told them I was going to trim my hair.

In short, I was screwed. Then it hit me… there was a way out. As well as my actual hair clippers, there was my electric shaver. I had my doubts though; this was designed for trimming stubble, not removing hair by bucketload.

There was another problem, if I was to use this… all my hair would have to go. I would have to look like a “slaphead”, “baby face”, “Baldielocks” or even a neo-fecking-nazi. I took a look in the mirror. To hell with it, it had to be better than this.

So I tried, and it worked. Not just worked… it was easy. I shaved, and shaved. I shaved to the point of no return. Shaved beyond it, till there was nothing but skin, shaved until my actual head looked like it was bleeding.

The job of showing my mates was one you can imagine for yourselves. They went ape, I looked like one. I’m glad though, it’s made people see me in a new light, the one that bounces off the top of my head.

Get up and Gone

So, this is the proper one. That pirate dude is the alter-ego by the way. Not the real me. It's taking off now, it seems theres a lot i can do with this BLOG, just have a look at the bottom, and you'll see what i mean.

Yes this is where i put my "works" as it were, things that have been worked on so much, that calling them finished is like calling the Leaning Tower of Piza "a bit wonky". This is a shameless self-advertising campaign that you WILL be privvy to!

P.S. Comments on the blog would be great, thanks!

Afterlife

I remember feeling cold, so very cold. Then even that was gone. Then I felt like I could see something. I thought I was drifting through clouds. Then I realised for the first time I was not me. Not anymore, I was just a soul, some kind of essence that just was. I felt my panic slipping away. Finally I could let go the memories, the years, the time. Then suddenly a great burst of warmth enveloped me, and I knew it was going to be alright. I felt something embrace my soul.

I can’t even describe the force to you as there are no words for such. I could see clearly. I don’t know how a soul does this, but with the warmth came a vision. I was in an infinite space. I could see clouds in the far distance that went far beyond massive. They were epic, bigger than our entire galaxy. They seemed to be green, but at the same time, blue. I could not exactly tell. They shifted slowly, but if you were in them the change would be horrifically violent.

I saw more. There were lots of tiny pinpricks of light floating in the air. Most were white, but a couple had some colour to them. I realised what these were almost as if I already knew. These were souls of others, thousands of them. They hung suspended in the air, or whatever we were in. I heard singing, a choir of hundreds, possibly they were angels. They were singing in a language I don’t understand, but the music they made was like the beauty of the entire world I lived in magnified many times. I wondered if any who heard this sound, could ever do wrong in their life ever again.

As I floated there, I realised that more souls were appearing. They were just little points of light that faded into existence. I also realised something else. My soul, my being, was moving through this field of essence, slowly at first, like a snail crawl. Then I realised how wrong I was about the size of this place. It was beyond infinity. To try and grasp it’s size would surely send one mad. Maybe, it had no size at all.
My journey started to speed up. Souls came and past me, although I was aware of others that were also moving, and in my direction too.

In the distance, I observed a small point of blackness. Tiny, but without the limitations of a body, I could see clearly, forever. Then I heard something incredible. It was like a rumbling sound, completely in harmony with the choir, which never seemed to even quieten, but very, very present. It was the presence of the great being, the one given so many names and colours by those of planet earth, which even now seemed like a million years away.

I suddenly felt frightened. Was this it then? Was this the final judgement? Where would I be sent? Heaven or Hell? Or maybe there was no distinction. Maybe there would be a one-for all place. Maybe, the waters of time would simply pull back, and we would live our lives exactly the same, all over again. I was scared of this judgement. I had not led a religious life, and I had done some bad things, nothing really bad, but perhaps enough to condemn myself to fire.

As if sensing this, the choir suddenly rose to a volume which drove all thoughts of that from my mind. I wanted to stay, here in this field of warmth and goodness, with a million others. I wondered if any of the others saw me? I wondered if ..... saw me.

The black spot had now become a hole, of pure blackness. I couldn’t guess the size. I realised all size is really, irrelevant. At least, it is here, although it looked infinite, it could have been the size of a water drop. There were other souls heading for the hole. I saw them; one by one, go into the hole, and then their light was gone.

I felt my fear drain away. I had made my choice in life, not here. The hole swelled in my vision, filling it. Just at the last, before I felt sure that I would journey into darkness, all turned white, and I realised I was going beyond, to a place no-one on earth could ever see, because even if we do evil, god doesn’t judge us. I could make out shapes, in front of me, but it was so white, utter, brilliant light. I went...

(This work is copyright(c) of the author, Chris Drinkall)

Dead Butterflies

Dead butterflies, ancient and thin float
down from the sky. They flew
and now fall frozen, feathered ice that the wind
has sculpted into a new and unique form.
They weep, and drown in their own tears,
or those left by others.

They pile up on the floor.
Some nature’s magic makes them sparkle,
as they gently hold in their tears till morning.
Humanity hides in this cold, dark and silent night.
Their bodies pile high, in the cold of December.
Their reign will last merely hours, and we won’t remember.

Now there are many more. Too many to count,
more than all the people in all the cities.
An immense army of warriors, diving into the world… to die
Silent.
Upon the gravel and the grass,
They may find peace at last.

(This work is copyright(c) of the author, Chris Drinkall)

I miss you

I miss your touch, softer than most,
And the way your hand went about me.
As a blind man’s fingers interpret the world.
You traced a way into my soul, tickled it,
and sent shivers through me.
A queen in a castle, I was in your arms.

You took me to dinner, at Marcello’s, looked up at me,
opened a box, asked me the question. That was my happiest day.
Ever-loving,
You were my deity!

A reliable angel, that served and saved me
from a world of devils, profit and change.
I feel like a weed now;
growing but showing and knowing,
no beauty or purpose.

Thank you for loving and touching me.
Saying you would do anything for me,

(This work is copyright(c) of the author, Chris Drinkall)

Love's A Mystery To Me

How are you these days? I don’t really care.
If you came round, I’d be out, or I’d go upstairs,
I can’t begin to explain how sick you make me,
You knew that for every last thing you’d take me.

From the outset, was I your outlet?
From the stranger you never said dumped you a week before.
We started it up, turned on the love,
Got down and dirty on my kitchen floor.

And that’s all it was, that’s the fool I was,
We had sex shared kisses and that is all.
I tried to get in touch, I haven’t heard from you in three weeks
Too few returned texts, and to many tears on my cheeks cheeks,

Love’s a mystery to me, can get my head around it,
It’s something no one can relate, just wait until you’ve found it.
I’ll laugh and cry, one day I’ll die, one day my dreams will come true,
But not today, and not with you, so please just be passing through.

So hurt my life and break my heart,
Because that’s all you seem able to do,
Give me the chance for a brand new start,
Don’t come back because I don’t love you.

Now my heart functions once again,
Without being in a love broken again and again
One careless action and a life you can end,
I fought for you and lost nearly every friend,

That I have, but now I’m glad, because it makes it bitter,
But you see, I now conceive, life with you would be shitter,
The last two weeks no kisses hit your cheeks,
Fists go flying, we end up crying, blaming each other.

Love’s a mystery to me, can get my head around it,
It’s something no one can relate, just wait until you’ve found it.
I’ll laugh and cry, one day I’ll die, one day my dreams will come true,
But not today, and not with you, so please just be passing through.

There’s a girl I’ve met, of twenty two,
Maybe she’s the last chance, for me to start my life anew.
So this I’ll relate to you with much glee,
I’m alive, I survived, I can still be happy

Met her at a bar, wasn’t my place by far,
Suffering the booze, I was feeling pretty down,
We talked; I laughed, and walked her home,
even though it was right across town.

I’ve told her about you, and we’re talking it nice and slow,
She won’t be a rebound thing, I want this love to grow.
Not explode, then grow old, in under a year,
Maybe I’ll still be with this girl when death comes near.

Love’s a mystery to me, but maybe now I’ve found it,
Try and find it but all you seem to do is go in circles round it.
I’ll laugh and cry, one day I’ll die, one day my dreams will come true,
So leave me alone now, because loves a mystery to you too.

I’ll laugh and cry, one day I’ll die, one day my dreams will come true,
So leave me alone now, because I’ve got over you.

Another mini-assignment here, to create a presentation in groups to show to the group. We chose poems about love, across the length of a relationship. From beginning to end. This is about the end, and perhaps a new beginning?

You've gotta love optimism!

(This work is copyright(c) of the author, Chris Drinkall)

The Resolution

Although he was almost gone, McGowan knew not to approach Mikhail. A hover or heli was coming, it spelt bad news for the dying man.

A million neon lights, from taller buildings and passing skycars, illuminated the pair from the unusually clear night. Mikhail’s fluids were slowly spilling out of his body. Conrad’s legion’s had done their job, and so had the cop. Now that the Unity of truth had hacked into Conrad’s networks, all would be revealed. The man holding the gun was oblivious to all this conspiracy, but for how long? McGowan couldn’t stun him, no charge left. It would just finish him off anyway.

The helitank suddenly arrived, it opened fire immediately. Lasers sprayed in and around Mikhail, instant death. McGowan turned, and saw the answers written on the helitank’s side… “Conrad Inc”, but suddenly the minigun spoke again. He felt the lasers cook his stomach and chest, and fell.

Mikhail hadn’t killed anyone, Merrick was assassinated by the corporation, for standing in their way. Was Conrad behind the outbreak of the gH2 Virus? The thought was just cold enough to be true. He closed his eyes and thought of Ellie, he hoped there was something more.

---

This was from a recent CW assignment, in which we had to create a story in the genre of either romance, western, sci-fi or childrens. I chose sci-fi (sub-genre cyberpunk). The 200 Word limit was harsh, but allowed us to spend a LOT of time editing!

(This work is copyright(c) of the author, Chris Drinkall)

Music -> Zombies (work in progress)

Here's a song i'm nearly finished with, currently it's called zombies, I dont know why anymore though :/. Click the link below to listen or download.

click here for zombies! (1.34mb, low quality)

NOTE: As this is a work in progress, the link may not always work, especially if the song is updated. The version here is low quality to prevent plagiarism. In the "final" version, the quality will be much higher. The low quality also keeps the download time lower.

Keys in Ignition

Well, here i am writing a blog. Something which, even two weeks ago. I would not have seen myself doing. It's an experiment, to see what this is like, where it takes me, and who it brings with me.

Some of you may already have seen my alter-ego blog "Captain Chris". An experiment in fictional blogging (flogging, not a form of torture), utilising the skills i have picked up as an actor.

I'm fighting the urge to just leave it here, keep it minimal. No, not this time, this time, good and proper explanation is a worthy cause. I'm a student, at De Montfort University in Leicester, England. I am studying Drama and Creative Writing join honours.

I also do a lot of other things, and this is where the blog comes in. I'm going to see if this is a good point-of-entry for others to my creative work. Yes, its a long process, yes some people may get hurt along the way, and of course, i will use every literary cliche in the book :)