Dont underrate Hairdressers

I wanted to give my hair a little bit of a trim, before going out that evening, so I went at it with my clippers. However, it didn’t seem to really cut my hair very much, as it should have. I tried attacking it from all sorts of angles, and managed to get bits here and there.

So, I thought, let’s wet my hair and see what happens then, maybe it’d work; it was one of those fancy waterproof clippers. No success, it just seemed to “chew” and pull my hair, not cut it. This became really frustrating, so I decided to try a much smaller length guard attachment. That’s one of those things that stop the clippers going from the roots. For a second or two it worked, but then, once again, it just started “chewing”. By now my hair looked quite a mess and had a sort of “canal” in it. Some areas were really long, about two inches, others closer to one, other had almost been completely removed. I tried again and again, but all my hair got was “chewed”.

So in a fit of anger of my own ineptitude, I threw the clippers at the floor. I don’t know if I actually expected it to, not just break, but explode into pieces and irreparable fragments… but that’s what it did.

It took a few seconds for it to sink in. My hair looked like it had been cut by a demented bullfighter who had been riding the buckaroo as he did it, and now I had no clippers. I was also consciously aware of my absence from the party that was going off in the kitchen, sooner or later someone comes knocking on the door, and I hadn’t told them I was going to trim my hair.

In short, I was screwed. Then it hit me… there was a way out. As well as my actual hair clippers, there was my electric shaver. I had my doubts though; this was designed for trimming stubble, not removing hair by bucketload.

There was another problem, if I was to use this… all my hair would have to go. I would have to look like a “slaphead”, “baby face”, “Baldielocks” or even a neo-fecking-nazi. I took a look in the mirror. To hell with it, it had to be better than this.

So I tried, and it worked. Not just worked… it was easy. I shaved, and shaved. I shaved to the point of no return. Shaved beyond it, till there was nothing but skin, shaved until my actual head looked like it was bleeding.

The job of showing my mates was one you can imagine for yourselves. They went ape, I looked like one. I’m glad though, it’s made people see me in a new light, the one that bounces off the top of my head.